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Miss Co Says

Cornelia Malloy aka Miss Co.... Digging deep into common topics with hopes of others sharing their knowledge/experience in same topics or on any topic of interest. This blog is not about me, my life or my travel schedule but it's about you, your life and how your shared experiences and expertise could help someone else while you in return may learn something new. #smallcityhustler #browngirlblogger #countrygirlgrind #looknofurther #misscosays

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IF IT WAS YOU?

Posted on March 7, 2018 at 5:50 PM Comments comments (0)
The question that is asked all too often is "What would you do if it was you?" Well depending on the situation that question can be hard to answer. It is easy to tell someone what they should do based off what you would do. But until we find ourselves facing the same problem we may not do exactly what we thought we would do. For the most part we know ourselves, we know how we think, how we act and how we deal with everyday life and everything in between but what we don't know is what we would actually do if faced with another person's issue or dilemma. We can be quick to judge another person's situation based upon our own experiences and not see the situation for what it is. I use to be one to say what I never would do and as I grew older and life happened I ended up doing everything I said I would never do. I had someone to ask me just recently the question noted above and I told them what I would do, however, I made it clear that what I stated was based upon the scenario given and not the reality or emotional side of it. We say what we would do but we don't know what we would do until we do it. Emotions are good but sometimes if not properly balanced they can cause us to do or say something we wouldn't normally do. When we give advise based on an emotion that is subject to change, we can say one thing and do another. In other words you can tell someone what they should do but when the same thing happens to you, you do opposite of your own advise. Of course when we are calm, relaxed, thinking clearly and logically it all make sense and we say we would do what is right or what is expected but when we are angry, sad, depressed, miserable etc. these emotions drive us and cause us to sometimes do or say things contrary to our own standards. When we measure other people's problems by our standards of living we are subject to giving them faulty advise. (Stressing) IF IT WAS ME I.....well it's not you, its them. Don't get me wrong, it's nothing wrong with giving advice or voicing your opinion especially when they come to you directly and ask you what to do but remember you are the calm one and they are full of emotions uncertain of what to do, just consider if the roles were reversed, empathize with them, help them bring everything into perspective and let them work through their problem to hopefully find the answer on their own. What works or worked for you may not be the answer for them. Something that is simple and straight forward like how to apply for college, sure that's easy to advise on if you've been through the process but something like a marriage on the brinks due to infidelity and they want to know if they should stay or go, that's more complex. That's a marriage, that's a mortgage, that's a family and if you've never been married or if married but never dealt with infidelity within the marriage or even if you have, your outcome may not be their outcome. Again we must take out the emotion of how we felt when it happened to us or if it happened to us because everybody is different and everybody's situation, regardless of how similar to another, may not end the same. There are so many factors to consider when telling someone what you would do if it was you. It's such a simple question but boy oh boy it comes with great effect based upon what we "think" we would do.

ABOUT ME

Posted on January 21, 2018 at 4:55 PM Comments comments (0)
Hello everyone!!! Welcome!!! I'm Cornelia aka Miss Co and I'm happy to be your Inspirational/Self Help Blogger!!!! Ok, so if you are reading this that means you have plugged into "C" time with yours truly. Thanks for joining me, I'm excited that you are here!! I hope that my blogs are helpful and insightful to you and your situation or if not you, someone you may know. And before I go any further, I want to tell you a little about me to help you connect with me better. Well first and foremost I'm a down to earth Christian girl that loves Jesus and I'm not ashamed. I'm a people person, full of personality and I can be a little goofy at times. I love my family and being in the company of true friends. I enjoy good clean fun, good food and great fellowship. I like to laugh and I take pleasure in the simple joys of life. I'm easy to get along with but I'm not a push over. I'm creative. I'm stylish. I'm unique. I'm a simple southern girl and when I say simple I mean one of my favorite stores is Target and I love, love Dollar Tree. My motto is if I see something I like enough regardless of what store I'm in, I'll buy it. I see the glass as being half full but I have not always had this view. My life failures help to produce this chapter of my life. I'm not here to hurt anyone, pass judgment or condemn anyone. I'm here to help. I believe in speaking the truth without the sugar. My blogs are based upon personal experiences, common knowledge, research and biblical truth. Please don't be alarmed, I'm not trying to convince anyone to believe as I do, I'm just giving insight, you know introducing another perspective. I have come to learn that you can lead a horse, cow, donkey, mule, bull to the water but you can't make them drink. My story is my story and your story is your story. So don't worry I want be beating you over the head with my beliefs. Now when posting my blogs I do try to see what I'm discussing from different perspectives and I implement scenarios in which others can make a connection. We may not have anything in common or perhaps you can't relate to any of my blog topics but I'm almost sure that somewhere in life we have had a similar situation in one way or another, if not, that's okay. I'm not really focused on the quantity of people I help but more so the quality of my posts. If I can help just one person, I consider that successful. Meaning my blogging is not in vain. So come on let's get ready to sip on some good stuff. It's "C" time, No Sugar!!!! Happy Reading!!!

ACCEPT WHAT YOU EXPECT

Posted on January 21, 2018 at 3:05 PM Comments comments (0)
Accept what you expect!! In other words receive what you believe!! Why believe in something and refuse to follow the principles, rules, guidelines, criteria etc. of said belief. You kicking against yourself!! You slapping your own self in the face!! I guess you're wondering what I mean. Well let me help you out. Often times in life we get just what we think we are going to get and then we mad at the outcome if it's not what we expected. As the good book says the power of life and death is in the tongue. Negative people, henceforth, negative thinkers often times get the negative outcome in which they spoke, of course on the other hand, positive people, henceforth, positive thinkers often times get the positive outcome in which they spoke. So whatever you are believing to be so, good or bad, accept it when it comes. Remember it's what you expected to happen anyway right? Now there are some cases where positive thinkers still get negative outcomes and of course negative thinkers still get positive outcomes, that's just how it goes, it happens. Regardless of your reason for thinking the way you do, you should be able to embrace what your beliefs bring you or don't bring you. We have heard it from somebody whether its a friend, family member, neighbor, coworker, associate or a complete stranger that is publicly venting about their hang ups in life...My life sucks, I hate my job, I'm ugly, My kids are so disrespectful, My husband/wife is stupid and guess what until they change that stinking thinking they are going to keep having a life that sucks, working a job that they hate on top of dealing with low self-esteem and insecurities, not to mention those bad mad kids and a stupid husband/wife who does not seem to have a clue to what is really bothering them, they stay on repeat, yet no one is listening and so the cycle continues. Day in and day out this is what they expect but sounds like they are having trouble accepting it. Next time you hear it, tell them, look them eyeball to eyeball and tell them...It's your sucky life, you made the choice to marry that man/woman, yall made those kids and the kids are the way they are because yall refused to discipline them when it was very necessary, you needed a job and had few options; husband needed help, kids had to eat, you still think you ugly because of something said to you 10 years ago about your looks by an irrelevant person and you wonder why things are not getting better, again I say this is your sucky life now own it!! {DROPS THE MIC, STAGE LEFT} Things just got real huh? What do you think a person response to this would be? Could they accept it? I would say yes they could accept it if it's what they expected you to say, if not then Houston we got a problem, a serious problem!! My point is some people need a reality check in which they must be ready to accept their reality, other people want to stay in the fantasy and keep wondering "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!?" (in my whining opera voice). LMBO!! I'm just saying. {CLEARS THROAT} Ok, moving forward, yes it will and can get better when you think better and expect it to get better. If you don't like your life, do something about it. If life is good, then appreciate it and enjoy it. Stop wavering between two opinions looking for sympathy and for someone to join in on your pity party, then get mad when no one wants to attend your party. Its your party, you can cry if you want to, you can cry all day long but its not fun partying alone is it? After the tears then what? Get my point. Pinch yourself, you feel that? It means you're still breathing, the blood is still running warm in your veins, throw away the tissue, let go of your issues and get your life back and if you never had the life you wanted then go get it!! If you don't want to go after the life you desire or you think it's too late, stop complaining about the life you have, just accept it and make the best of it but you can't have it both ways. Why do that to yourself?

WORDS DO HURT

Posted on January 17, 2018 at 7:00 PM Comments comments (0)
Be careful what you say because once it's said, you can't take it back. They may deserve it and it very well may be true but NEWSFLASH words do hurt and it is not always easy to ease the pain of the sting. I use to be a very clear cut direct to the point person. I believed in being real with people and at times raw and I still do, however, I have come to learn that there is a way to say just what you want to say but of course the right way. You never know the state of a persons mind or there perspective of you, therefore, in the case of speaking hurtful words you can make or break them. Its nothing wrong with being honest and truthful but in doing so our words should be cushioned with compassion, empathy, sympathy, open-mindedness and last but certainly not least...LOVE. Speaking the truth out of love verses anger, hate, envy, emotions and feelings makes it easier for the person to accept your truth. And in the long run if its a person in whom you have some type of relationship with it will make it easier to reconcile with them, they will have a new respect for you and be more willing to listen to helpful suggestions you may have. Words linger in our hearts, minds and spirit and sometimes a person's negative behavior or character flaws are derived from hurtful words spoken to them by someone they respected, admired and/or loved. Yes if someone hits you with a bunch of sticks and stones it is going to hurt and possibly leave scars. There will be bruising, breaking of the skin, change in skin coloration, swelling, and pain. But after a while those wounds do heal even if there is a permanent scar. Scarring depends on how hard, how many and how long the sticks and stones were thrown. In other words, you can damage a person with words, especially if they already inwardly have doubts, fears, insecurities and obvious weaknesses. That's just like someone throwing a stone at a wound you already have, it hurts worse and takes longer to heal. In most cases we do not know what a person is dealing with, we just don't and we have no way of knowing if they don't tell us or its not already public knowledge. Everyone doesn't take hurtful words as a grain of salt, letting it roll off their back like butter and even those that do, after a while, they start to feel the effects of those words and even they have a breaking point. Lets just be real. By no means am I saying be fake and phony, walking around on eggshells trying to keep from saying the wrong thing but what I am saying is say it at the right time. Ask yourself is what I'm about to say necessary, is it even relevant, will it matter tomorrow? Be real but be kind. Speak truth but say it in love. Know your limits and know that everyone is not the same. Words can hurt or help. Your delivery matters.

THE GRASS IS NOT ALWAYS GREENER

Posted on December 25, 2017 at 9:20 PM Comments comments (1)
The grass is sometimes dried up, brown, and in some cases it's fluffy and green but fake on the other side. Don't be too quick to jump into another situation without considering all the pros and cons of a current situation. Sometimes we are not doing all we suppose to do to ensure our grass is green and then when something that appears to be better come along we jump ship or shall I say jump yards. Things are not always as they appear and if the problem is you then guess what you will grow that same dried up grass in the next yard or end up buying fake grass to cover it up. Sometimes it is necessary to change sides but just be sure that you are staying or leaving for the right reason. Maybe it (it being job, relationship, church, school, etc.) is not working even after doing all you could do to make it work. When the season is up, then it's up, when it's over, it's over. If you tried, then you tried but don't let it be a case of jumping out of one frying pan into another or jumping out of one frying pan into a fire. It would behoove you to know what you are getting into or getting out of before you make your decision. It would be even better to know what you are leaving behind or walking into before you move forward. If the jump (move) is worth it, then by all means go for it but if what you are already established in is worth keeping, worth holding on to then work through it, stay and watch it grow, after a while your yard may become the beautiful yard you always wanted.

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